Tenacity and the Art of the Reframe

I had a lesson in tenacity and reframing from my elder daughter last weekend.  It’s part of who she is, and I admire the quality.  Even as a wee tot of about two years old, I recall her saying to me when I was frustrated about something not working ‘don’t worry Mum just try again’.

Last week was planned as a well-earned break for her between ending one job and starting the next.  She had been looking forward to it, and it was a way to recharge between roles.  Did I say she lives in Darwin? Did I say they have just been through a category 3 cyclone? The previous cyclone was a category 2 in 2018.  Prior to that the worst cyclone was Cyclone Tracy as a category 4 in 1974.

My girl could have moaned and complained that the world was against her, and it wasn’t fair.  She could have felt helpless because her boyfriend wasn’t there to support. Or felt resentful because she didn’t get the break she deserved.

What did she do instead? She got informed about how to prepare and created an evacuation plan.  She reached out to the landlord to check on anything else that she needed to know to secure the property. She and her fabulous flat mate who was on rostered days off (who could have also moaned about not having a break) worked together and brought all the outside furniture inside while their other flat mates were at work.  How cool must it have felt for their friends to come home, and it was done? These same flat mates were scheduled for a trip to Bali which they made in the nick of time before the airport closed for the duration.

These two young women then got food, and drink supplies for the duration.  That was an adventure.  They decided to laugh when someone stole the carpark they were backing into at the supermarket.  They chose to shrug off the crazy woman ramming their trolley in her rush to get to the cheese section.  They had a giggle at blank shelves where loo paper and bread used to be.

All prepared. They settled in for the duration. They chose to have fun together.  Huddled up in one room sharing a sofa and a duvet, watching movies and keeping tabs on the weather updates. They giggled, chatted, ate, drank wine, and created memories to treasure for the rest of their lives I suspect.  They and the house came through unscathed, albeit the exterior is a bit weather beaten with some broken spouting.  On the plus side the paving looks water blasted and very clean in the photos! Their landlord is appreciative of the communication and care they took of what was the family home before transferring for work outside of Darwin, which would have eliminated any remaining doubt about the decision in letting their beautiful family home to four 20 somethings.

Perception made the difference here.  They chose to perceive the experience as an adventure where they were pragmatic about what they could and couldn’t control.  They did all they could in their power to control their environment in advance and then leaned into the experience as it unfolded.

Mama bear on this side of the Tasman was on tenterhooks checking her phone repeatedly for news the next day but I too, knew what I could control and what I couldn’t.  I gave cheerleading support from a distance, and my concern came from an instinctive and unconditional love of a mother for her child in potential danger.

Proud Mum signing off til next time.