So Much of What We Believe About Ourselves Is Nonsense

We make meaning all the time. Every moment, our senses take in stimuli and our brain does its best to interpret it. This is completely normal – it’s how humans navigate the world. But it also means that what we perceive isn’t the same as objective reality. We each create our own version.

Most of the time this is incredibly helpful. It’s how we form habits and routines that let us move through life without having to relearn how to walk, shower, drive, or tie our shoes every single morning.

But some of the beliefs we create… simply aren’t true.

They often show up as fear – fear of getting things wrong, fear of not being good enough, fear of being judged. So we don’t start. Or we don’t share. Or we wait until something is perfect (which it never is). The beauty is in the uniqueness. No two snowflakes are the same.

Many of us work so hard to fit in that we lose sight of the version of ourselves that existed before life taught us who we were “supposed” to be. Over time, these early beliefs sink so deeply into our subconscious that they run on autopilot, reinforced again and again.

If you want a visual, imagine a 10-year-old child driving the bus of your adult life – or picture a boss who throws tantrums in the workplace. I once watched a senior leader stand on a coffee table to yell at someone… the table broke. Karma perhaps 😉

The truth is: we all carry limiting beliefs.
A child who gets told off will often code the experience as “I’m bad,” because they don’t yet have the capacity to recognise they were simply tired or overwhelmed. Many of my clients grew up in unsafe environments and, even though they are safe adults today, their nervous systems still default to old protective patterns.

This isn’t a flaw.
It’s simply efficiency.
The brain filters information at lightning speed by generalising, distorting, and deleting so we can make quick sense of the world.

But when these old programmes start running the show – the ones written decades ago – we often end up in self-sabotage, procrastination, perfectionism, or reactive behaviour we regret immediately.

These beliefs were helpful once. They kept you safe.
But just like the Yellow Pages, they’re outdated now.

Old patterns show up in relationships where trust feels hard, or at work where speaking up feels risky. They can show up anywhere because they were written early, quickly, and automatically.

Here’s the good news:
You don’t need fixing. You’re not broken.
You just have some outdated programming – and programming can be updated.

If you’d like support with that, I offer sessions online and in person. You’re welcome to reach out anytime.